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Friday, November 9, 2012

Glitter and Carrier Pigeons – Need I say more?

 . . . Okay, yes, I’ve been mostly MIA from my blog . . . and from twitter . . . and from facebook . . . you get the idea. But let’s face it, time management has to be one of the hardest things writers contend with (Rejection, though, comes a very close second). When you’re just starting out there are a few things you’re told you simply MUST do if you want to be a writer:
  1. Write books. This one’s true. You simply cannot be a writer if you don’t write.
  2. Depending on your goals, you’ll probably want an agent. That means you must divide your time between writing manuscripts and query letters and hoping one day you’ll snag that elusive beast known as the literary agent. (*Little known fact about literary agents: they prefer query letters sprayed with perfume, dusted with glitter, and delivered by carrier pigeons.)
  3. You must also build your online presence. You must tweet, and blog, and vlog (do people still vlog?), and facebook and chat up people on message boards and book review sites and other blogs, vlogs, and facebook pages. You must be witty and beloved by all those wayward souls who wander into your corner of cyberspace.
  4. Also, and this one’s fairly important, if you don’t want social services to take your children away, you have to pay attention to them too.  Pfft, needy one-year-olds!

I struggled with this for awhile - finding that elusive ballance - but then I realized something that should have been obvious: the most important thing a writer needs to do when they're first starting out is write books. The rest is secondary . . . well, point 4 is pretty important too . . . social services can be real ball-busters!

*Agents might not really like glitter and carrier pigeons . . . I've heard some prefer carrier-falcons.


Morgan said...

Laaaaughing at this post... Those needy one-year olds ;-)

JeffO said...

Carrier falcons are good for eliminating carrier pigeons of your rivals. Good to see you back, Steven, hope things are going well.

Steven W said...

@ Morgan - thanks :)

@ JeffO - Thanks for the welcome-back. Good point about the carrier-falcons. It might help keep your queries from being buried in heaping slush-piles. HOWEVER, after writing my post I've come to the conclusion that using birds to deliver queries might be seen as cliche. So from now on, when I communicate with my agent I'll be using a carrier-lama or carrier-pygmy-hippo.

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