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Saturday, May 28, 2011

Is That Broccoli or Cauliflower?

I actually am colorblind in real life (opposed to the many things I am in my fake life – not colorblind for one, a superhero for another … you get the idea). And before you ask (because I know it’s coming), yes, I know what color your t-shirt is. No, Christmas doesn’t suck even though I’m sure I’m missing out on some impressive color combinations on those fancy light displays. And no, I don’t get to park in the handicapped parking spots at malls. Jerk!

I have an idea for a book that involves a kid with colorblindness. I haven’t got it all sorted out just yet but it will involve more than just the trials and tribulations of wearing mismatched socks. Still, because it’s been on my mind for the last few weeks, I figured I’d bring it up here since a lot of people don’t really understand what colorblindness is or how it’s even identified.

First, I do see colors. While there are some people who only see in shades of gray, most “colorblind” folks are like me and just have difficulty with some colors. To give you an example, if you were to paint a wall completely red, and then write a word on that wall with green paint, It would be tough for me to spot.

Below are some slides from the Ishihara Colorblindness test. If you see the same things I see, you’re probably colorblind.

Okay, *rubs hands together* let’s start:

I SEE THE NUMBER 16














I don't see anything

Um ... a squirrel?

A zombie-squirrel?

I don't like this game.

I see circle with dots. Lots and lots of stupid dots!

I see rage. Just rage.

I see the squirrel again, only I better not say what it's doing. Bad Squirrel! BAD!










































Okay, that was a bit more depressing than I thought it would be. I usually can see a couple of the numbers in those circles (yes, you're supposed to see numbers in there). If you're like me and only see something in the first circle, please stand by. Your "Trust Me, I'm Colorblind" T-Shirt is in the mail.

That said, I can't end this blog post without giving colorblind folks an edge. There have been some studies that suggested colorblindness can be an advantageous mutation trait. Here's a short snip from THIS article:

Color blindness is not always a disadvantage, according to University of Calgary primatologist Amanda Melin and her colleagues, who found that wild color-blind capuchins in Costa Rica are better at detecting camouflaged insects than individuals with broader color vision.

HA! You know what that means? It means that when the end of the world really does come, and everyone is living off of insects, my troop of colorblind hobos (yes I plan to have just such a troop) and I will be eating the bugs that none of you guys can see! So there.

Wednesday, May 25, 2011

Good News: The World Didn't End. Bad News: I'm Going To Be a Bad Father

Okay – the world didn’t end after all. I’m a bit disappointed since I’m not sure what I’m going to do with all the baked beans I bought. You know, in preparation for the year I was planning on spending in my basement while I waited for the zombie apocalypse to end. It was supposed to be a zombie apocalypse, wasn’t it?  Or is that happening in 2012? It's hard to keep all these doomsday predictions straight.

In any case, it’s probably a good thing that world didn’t end. I have big plans for the future and zombie-raptures just don’t factor in. Most importantly is the fact that I have this little baby on the way. There are certain fatherly experiences that I’m looking forward to. Like teaching my kid to throw a ball, or giving my kid their first taste of something sour and then laughing at the face it makes.

Speaking of babies, I recently found this little clip which has to be one of the funniest things I’ve ever seen. Wait, is it bad for a children's book author to laugh at kids getting scared? It is? Oh, okay, then this is NOT funny at all. In fact, it was so not funny that I almost peed my pants not laughing at it!  


Friday, May 20, 2011

ADIOS, SAYONARA ... Farewell ye sinners!


In case you forgot, tomorrow is RAPTURE DAY, so be sure to eat an early dinner (It's supposed to happen at 6:00pm sharp!). 

Wednesday, May 11, 2011

And ... ACTION!



I’ve seen a handful of book trailers, and if I’m being honest (which goes against my professional liar instincts) they’ve never impressed me. In fact, a few of them have made me want to avoid the very book they were created to promote. Some especially atrocious ones have made me want to avoid books entirely.

Friends (if you can call them that) found my revulsion amusing and started sending me links to the worst trailers they could find. Each one seemed worse than the next, until finally just uttering “book trailer” made me want to vomit. 

It got so bad that until recently I had been avoiding these two minute nightmares as if they were rabid hyenas, or European men in Speedo’s (Honestly, they do make regular shorts in Europe, I know they do, I've seen them in the stores, please buy some, Mr. Hairy Greek man ... Please!!!).

Then something remarkable happened. I stumbled upon a trailer that I didn’t know was created for a book until the very end. It renewed my faith that book trailers needn’t be horrible pieces of monkey turd. They could be interesting, they could be exciting, and they could even, dare I say it, make me want to read the book.

So, without further ado, I would like to present two book trailers that I think are very well done. One was clearly very expensive to create (live actors, professional film crew), and the other was done for a few bucks by the author - both with good results.

Happy viewing!




Thursday, May 5, 2011

BOOK REVIEW TIME

The story begins when a young woman, exploring her father’s study, finds an ancient book and a stack of letters addressed to ‘My dear and unfortunate successor’. From there the story plunges in to a mysterious world where she learns of her father’s past, and the events surrounding her mother’s mysterious disappearance.

It’s a historical tour de force based on one question: What if Vlad Ţepeş, Prince of Wallachia and the inspiration for Bram Stoker's Dracula, really was a vampire?

I thoroughly enjoyed this book. I was pulled in by the history and I thought there was sufficient suspense to keep me flipping pages all the way to the end, but if you’re not really into history, or you’re looking for an action packed vampire book, it might not be the best fit for you.

A bit of related information: Apparently the author worked on the novel for ten years and she sold it within a couple months for a whopping two million dollars (it was her debut novel). I also heard Sony has purchased the movie rights, and is planning an adaptation. 

I’ll be looking forward to that.