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Saturday, December 24, 2011

LIFE LESSON #4 and #5

Life Lesson #4
It’s Christmas Eve and I’m suddenly reminded of two life lessons I’ll most certainly need to teach my son one day. The first is this: Always listen to your mother . . . UNLESS she tells you to leave healthy cookies out for Santa on Christmas Eve. Healthy cookies don’t do anyone any favors. You’ve been good all year; don’t ruin that hard work the night before the big day! As you can see below, the consequences can be severe. (PS - Raisins have no place in a cookie!)

Lesson #5
The next lesson ties into Christmas as well, which is why they're linked.


Santa is a kind man who delivers toys to all the good girls and boys in the world. His helpers, however well intentioned they might be, are not always as jolly. So lesson #5 is quite simple - Trust your instincts, son. Trust your instincts.
Um, yeah, has anyone signed up Santa for anger management?? Might want to get on that.

Riiiiggghhht . . . someone call 9-1-1

Yes little boy, the Santa behind you is indeed the man you saw last night on America's Most Wanted. Run!

*Life Lessons are a series of blog posts I write about lessons I intend to teach my new-born son (once he’s old enough). These posts are like Post-It note reminders that I share. To see all the life lessons, click the “life lesson” link in the word cloud on the right.


K. Turley (Clutzattack) said...

I don't think I've ever had a mall photo with Santa. They all creeped me out since their beards were fake.

Carrie Butler said...

I often go out of my way to avoid Santa in the mall. Now you guys know why! *shudder*

Steven Whibley said...

K and Carrie, I think I might have to keep my son away mall Santas from now on :) I wish I could remember what I used to think of Santa when I was a kid. My wife and I actually took our son to the mall Santa this year and he loved it. But the Santa was just all about the picture and had a perma-forced-grin on his face that made him look a bit like a manikin ...very creepy!

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