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Friday, July 22, 2011

In Which I Laugh at the Homeless

WAIT!!! Before you reach for that unsubscribe button and leave my blog forever, give me a chance to explain … still there? Okay. Good. *Ahem* Yesterday I laughed at a homeless guy.

“Right,” you say. “Thanks for the explanation, Steve. I’ll be leaving now. Best of luck surviving the lightening that’s about to strike you down. Toodeloo.”  (Yes, I said “Toodeloo.” I imagine the people who read my blog to be from the UK in the 1950’s).

I didn’t have a camera when I spotted the gentleman who inspired this post, but I did find a picture online of another homeless fellow who employed the exact same methods:

After finding that one I had to don my magic internet goggles and look for more. As it turns out, the streets are ripe with wit. I'd probably give money to these guys just for being original.


Jen said...

How did you know I came from the UK 1950's? Where did you get your info? I'll have to talk to my superiors about this, lol.

My husband, an account, dressed up as a homeless man and wrote a sign that said "will make spreadsheets for money." His boss didn't think it was funny.

Alisha Souillet said...

Love the post, I have to say, I tend not to give money to the homeless that just have signs. Now, if they are playing some sort of muscial instrument, or singing, or carrying around a spray bottle and a squeegy, well then, I pay up, cause there at least trying to do something for the money :)

I recall a few years back, an article in the Calgary Sun or Herald, where a Million was dressing up like a homesless, for fun, cause he's bored now that he has all this money lol.

Anonymous said...

That was just LOL.
I once saw a homeless with an iPad. Or was he just a weird-dressed unclean person talking to himself on the sidewalk? :)
Have a nice weekend!

Carrie Butler said...

Love the signs, Steve :) Is it baby time yet?

Paul Joseph said...

This is definitely worth an LOL, Steve! Flipping hysterical in my book. Thanks for sharing!

Sarah Pearson said...

Oh, now this made me smile. I'd give money to the time travelling guy, I'm a sucker for SciFi.

Steven Whibley said...

@Jen - I knew the people who read this blog were time travelers! I've always wanted to know how much panhandlers actually make in a day. Not because I'm looking for a career change :) just that I often see panhandlers who seem very healthy and I always wondered.

@Alisha - I'll have to search for that article.

@EEV - I've seen several homeless people with cell phones and I'm always left wondering who the heck they're calling and where the bills get sent.

Steven Whibley said...

@Carrie - The baby was officially due on the 20th. I am very excited to meet the little girl or boy but apparently they're in no rush to make an appearance. Hopefully it comes soon!

linda said...

Haha these are great! Thanks for sharing. :)

Melanie Stanford said...

I think my favorite was "Bet you can't hit me with a quarter". Except I'd write on mine, bet you can't hit me with $100 dollar bills.

Jeff King said...

Those are good ones.

The only sign that ever made me give a homeless person money was: I need a beer, anything helps!

I give to homeless people all the time, but that’s only if you don’t ask or bother me in some way.

K. Turley (Clutzattack) said...

Lived in a few areas in California where the homeless are ruthless about begging for money.

Whenever I was asked if I had any money to spare, I'd say, "Sure, can you break a 100-dollar bill?"

If they say yes, then clearly they don't need the money. If they say no, then I apologize and explain I can't afford to hand the whole bill over.

Aimee Renee said...

Lol! This post is hilarious! My favorites were "Family kidnapped by ninjas; need $4 for karate lessons" and "Bet you can't hit me with a quarter." One my friends actually saw a guy holding a sign that said the quarter one; she found it epically funny, too.

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